Empty

She was beautiful. She lay there on her bed all beckoning, lounging like a cat. She lay on her stomach propped up on her arms her feet dancing in the air behind her. All smiles and giggles. Her hair was black silk, her green eyes sparkled with mirth, mischief. Desire. She brought one knee up and lay somewhat on her side. She smiled at me and laughed, she could be no more than 18. she beckoned to me. In my mind’s eyes I could feel her, her soft skin, silk hair. I could smell her, I could taste her mouth, her skin, her… in my mind’s eye she arched in pleasure, her breath coming in short gasps, bursts. My hands explored her, my tongue knew her. She smiled at me then, lying there in nothing but black lace panties and bra. She laughed and tossed her hair, crooking her finger at me; her nails were painted the color of a bruise, dark but somehow it complemented her, enhancing her appeal. I chuckled and reached for her, my body hungry for her touch. My world was nothing but her, the sight of her, the feel of her, the taste and sensation, I reached like a dying man for his last meal. I reached as a pious man reaches for heaven, for his god. I reached.

Thhin k. I reached. Tunk. I reached and reached and again and again and… Tin-k, Tunk, Tin-k… My hand could not break the barrier between us, the screen that flickered inside of its insidious box kept us apart. At first she laughed at me, I laughed too, and tried again; Tunk, and again; Thin k. My finger hitting and folding, my knuckles rapping the cold unyielding surface. She began to look worried, I became frantic. I beat at the glass with my fists, TiuNK, Tiunk, tIUNk. Over and over; my knuckles bled and I cried in my frustration. She was weeping, pleading with me begging me to hurry, to come to her. Her beautiful face distraught and tear tracked drove me mad. My desire was hunger eating me from the inside, I fought madly with the cold glass, driving at it with bats and hammers, throwing all manner of furniture and sticks and rocks and… ANYTHING I COULD!! I must get to her, I MUST!! There she is, right now, waiting for me, READY FOR ME!! She beckons and PLEADS and I MUST GO TO HER!!! She wants me and needs me and here I am STUCK!! On the other side! ON THE WRONG SIDE!! of that damn flickering box. WAIT! I run to the hall closet. I remember my father had left it there for me years ago. I took it down and loaded it, I had not done so since being a child. I run back to the living room, GET OUT OF THE WAY! I shout to her, I SHOOT the damn box!! soft Click. The catch of something lighting a-fire, WOOSH!!! the powder burns and SSSHHHHoooo!! the shot flies down the smooth double barrels and K-FOOOOM!! the sound of the explosion reaches the world. The glint of steel, the shot catches the light of the noonday sun (funny I didn’t mean for it to be high noon) as it speeds to the HATED SCREEN!!! DIE!!!!! SMASH UP!!! CRUMPLE AND BURN!!! I shout to the flickering idiot box. The pellets impact the screen and I see her face, her mouth a perfect ‘O’ of horror. They push into it, it gives. And gives and… rebounds. I can see her scream, the light of the noonday sun (funny I didn’t expect this) glints off the steel shot. NO! The word whispers from my mouth. The pellets impact my stomach, my chest and flesh is replaced with burning air. I reach for her, I stumble towards her, she smiles at me, she laughs and beckons and I smile at her and I crawl, my belly and all its worth trailing behind me. I stumble once because I am crawling over my intestines but I see her and I reach for her. In my minds eye I can feel her, I can taste and touch her. I hear her now, she is laughing and telling me to stop procrastinating. I chuckle at her and blood pours from my mouth; it tastes like her. All I see is her, I reach and she reaches back, all laughter and promise, all mischief and desire. I reach and I can almost touch her now, I reach and the barrier is gone, I reach for her and I reach and I reach and I r e a c h and I …

 

~

 

“A man was found dead today in his west-side apartment, neighbors had phoned police with a complaint of loud noises coming from the upstairs apartment. Authorities arrived to find the man undressed lying face down with arm outstretched in front of the TV. He apparently had shot himself with a 12 gauge shotgun after destroying his rooms. Police reported that every piece of furniture aside from the television was destroyed, the debris centering around the television itself. No news yet as to why he would have committed suicide but one officer did have this to say: ‘…The strangest thing… …Never changed, flicking. It was just an image of an empty room, looked like a girls room, just… empty.’”